Open letter to a world which needs more Empathy

and how I learnt it by being on the road

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

They say Humans are social animals. Are we? Really?? We are great in talking, yes, sharing, yes, gathering, meeting, judging, taking positions, pointing fingers, having always a side to stand for and so so many prejudices. In an Anglophone world, and not only, they ask you ‘How are you’ and you always says ‘good’, that’s the way you have to answer because no one, apparently, would wants to listen for more than 10 seconds about us, our life, our happiness and our struggles. It has to be good, we have to be good, happy, strong, positive etc etc.

When I started living adventures I would have returned and share my stories out loud with anyone, talk instancabile about those time I climbed that or cross that or hide there… Then I stopped, something changed, something was different. 

When you decide to immerse yourself in the situation where you are, when you finally decide to create a connection, to listen, to pay attention to understand, to find reasons and solutions things start to change. What you live is not an adventure to show as a trophy anymore but a new path to something which makes your life a bit better and a bit more painful. When you finally decide to listen and to make that connection you take a new story, a new world, a new happiness and also a new burden with you, but on the other hand prejudices will disappears, knowledge will replace judgment and your listening will replace talking. 

I decided to teach myself empathy in a harsh way, listening to stories, seeing things, and being in places they shocked me because nothing more than seeing different situations, people, cultures, places can teach you how to be emphatic. You do not need to travel to the other side of the world to do this and we are not only talking about third world countries and places hit by humanitarian crises, civil unrests, and conflict areas. Empathy can be shown towards anyone from any background, religion, country, and language. It is his/ her story and not what she/he represents in your preconception.

When you are travelling and living in different places, when you get out of your comfort zone, YOU are the minority, you are the one who looks different, who does not speak the language, or have a different accent, the one who doesn’t know about the food, the culture, who cannot read the signs... Those are the moments we need empathy and we realise how much it can make a difference in those times.

Now I talk less, maybe a share less but I learned how to listen, deeply and I always put my self in those shoes going through hard times and very happy times. I am not a superhero and I will never be any closer to perfection but I did learn that there is always a reason behind everything, and sometimes being a listener and trying to understand is the easiest way to help someone who struggling more than us. I do spend hours crying watching documentaries, investigations, reading news, getting frustrated, and feeling deeply ashamed for being part of the human race for what I witness, I hear and I see. This is the harsh part of being emphatic. If we would all learn how to listen, how to ask questions, if we all would make real connections trying, at least trying to wear someone else shoes for a moment this world would be a better place and we all would be happier and more grateful and there would be less hate, less racism, less violence, and way happier and less frustrated people.

Educate yourself on what’s around you and be respectful of anyone, with any story, from any place. Be humble cause you do not know their stories yet. By doing that you will learn how to communicate with all kind of people, making friends from any sort of background, religion, and culture, your mind will open up and preconception will break a whole new world of knowledge will unfold and you will realise how lucky you are even with all those problems, suffering and fears.

Yes we are all struggling, we all have a lot of problems, fears, uncertainty, and suffering as that person in front of you answering: ‘I am good’.So try to make an effort and get out of your bubble for a second, break those prejudices and start again, just listen, observe, make a connection and put yourself on that person's shoes for a second, for everyone's sake. THANK YOU.

“Listen before judging, learn before believing, research before trusting and observe before doing”